Read the Room

A few days ago I wrote about selfishness and being unable to discern whether I am selfish or not https://melaniekeartland.medium.com/selfishness-1b2f9cb024b3.

After much thought, I have realised that there is no absolute measure of selfishness, but if you find that the people are unprepared to help you out, give you time and attention or share with you, you are probably too selfish for your circumstances. In other words: read the room.

If you speak, and you don’t have anyone’s attention, you are not contributing to the conversation. If you continuously make requests which are not met, you have no social currency. In other words, you need to give to get, and if you are not getting the responses you expect, it is time to evaluate your contributions. When are you giving enough? When you are getting what you need.

Altering your behaviour is the only way to change the responses you get, so start experimenting, it isn’t manipulative or evil, unless you intend to be manipulative and evil.

Read the room and adjust accordingly.